The "Always" Trap: How Overgeneralization Can Make Symptoms Feel Worse
How your words shape your experience
If you live with a chronic illness, you’ve probably said something like:
“I always feel terrible.”
“I never have enough energy to do anything.”
“Doctors never listen to me.”
“People always assume I’m fine just because I look okay.”
It’s natural to feel frustrated when symptoms persist or when others don’t understand your struggles. But using words like “always” and “never” can make things feel even worse than they actually are. This pattern of thinking is called overgeneralization, and it tricks your brain into believing negative experiences are permanent and inescapable.
The truth? Chronic illness is unpredictable. Some days are harder than others, but there are moments of relief, rest, connection, and progress—even if they’re small. The key is learning how to notice them.
How Overgeneralization Affects Your Mindset
When we overgeneralize, we take one negative experience and assume it applies to everything. This can make life feel more hopeless than it actually is.
For example, if you wake up feeling fatigued, you might think, “I always feel this way, and I’ll never have the energy to do anything.” While your fatigue is very real, there may still be moments in the day when you feel slightly better—even if only for a short time. Overgeneralization makes it harder to notice those small fluctuations and creates the illusion that nothing ever improves.
Another example is dealing with medical professionals. If you’ve had negative experiences with doctors dismissing your symptoms, it’s easy to think, “Doctors never listen to me.” While frustrating experiences are common, there may be a healthcare provider out there who will listen—you just haven’t met them yet. Believing that all doctors are the same could discourage you from seeking the care you deserve.
Similarly, when people misunderstand your illness, you might think, “People always assume I’m fine.” While some people may be dismissive, others may just need help understanding. Assuming that everyone lacks empathy can make it harder to connect with those who actually do care.
Breaking Free from the “Always” and “Never” Trap
Overgeneralization makes challenges feel bigger and more permanent than they are. Here’s how to shift your mindset:
1. Catch the Overgeneralization in Action
Pay attention to when you use words like “always” and “never.” They’re red flags that your brain is painting an extreme picture.
Try this: The next time you say or think something absolute, pause and ask:
“Is this 100% true all the time?”
“Can I think of even one exception?”
If you can find an exception, your thought is likely an overgeneralization.
2. Replace Absolutes with Flexible Language
Once you notice overgeneralization, swap extreme words with more accurate, flexible language.
Examples:
Instead of “I always feel terrible,” try “I have tough days, but I also have moments when I feel okay.”
Instead of “I never have energy,” try “My energy is unpredictable, but I’m learning how to manage it.”
This small change can shift your mindset from hopelessness to possibility.
3. Keep a "Bright Spot" Journal
When you’re in the middle of a bad day, it’s easy to forget that not every day is bad. A "bright spot" journal helps you track moments of relief or joy—no matter how small.
Try this: Each day, write down one positive moment, such as:
✅ “I laughed at a funny video.”
✅ “I had a good conversation with a friend.”
✅ “I rested without guilt today.”
✅ “My pain was a little lower this morning.”
Over time, this practice can help you see that life isn’t just made up of suffering—it also has small victories.
4. Focus on What You Can Control
Overgeneralization makes us feel powerless, but there’s always something we can control.
Instead of “Doctors never listen to me,” research ways to advocate for yourself at appointments.
Instead of “I never have good days,” track symptom patterns to identify small improvements.
Instead of “I always feel alone,” reach out to an online community or a supportive friend.
Small actions can shift your perspective from stuck to empowered.
Final Thoughts: Progress Over Perfection
You don’t have to eliminate negative thoughts overnight. The goal is to notice them, challenge them, and reframe them—one thought at a time. Chronic illness is tough, but your mindset can make a big difference in how you experience it.
Next time you catch yourself saying always or never, pause and ask:
💡 Is this really true? What’s a more balanced way to see this?
You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel.